Convicted

“I don’t want to go to chapel and hear about how God has worked in people’s lives,” has been running through my head all day. Granted, not in those words specifically, but deep down, that’s what I have been thinking. When I realized this (while sitting in a tree by the lake listening to my iPod), I suddenly was brought back to the testimony chapel from the first semester. I walked to the microphone and spoke. What I said only took about thirty seconds, but it was a resounding piece of truth from my heart: “I had the great oppurtunity to visit Jamaica this summer on a mission trip. While there, I was able to witness God working in the lives of the people there but also discover a newfound appreciation for testimony and how that alongside the Gospel are our two greatest assets to evangelize. If anyone would like, I love to really hear how you are doing. To be able to share in the joy of your salvation would be an honor.” In light of my recent attitude, it seems like a total shift in thought.

There’s the problem: my attitude. Why would I, the man who himself discovered the joy and importance of testimony this past summer, be so jaded in regard to testimony like I needed a break from it? I am unsatisfied in my savior. That sad answer is the sad truth. Since I have come to Cedarville, I have seen growth, both emotional and spiritual; however, I have noticed a serious decline in spiritual discipline and have noted this as a point of spiritual stagnation (perhaps better referred as decay). Those two statements seem contradictory, but my growth has been slowly obtained via God tugging at my heart to listen to Him. Right now is the culmination of His entreatment. I rejoice in saying that this is just the beginning. My attitude needs change.

How stubborn am I to be hearing sermons about evangelism, wearing shirts that say “Body piercing saved my life,” and acting as if steadfastly interested in the Gospel? 

“‘ But my people did not listen to my voice;

Israel would not submit to me.

‘So I gave them over to their stubborn

hearts,

to follow their own counsels.”

(Psalm 81: 11-12 ESV)

I am so stubborn that I trust my own wisdom over that of the Lord’s.

“Wake up from your drunken stupor, as is right, and do not go on sinning. For some have no knowledge of God. I say this to your shame.” (1 Corinthians 15:34 ESV)

I am as a drunk. I do not know my way. For this reason I need my God and need to share with others this great joy and importance of testimony.

Do you see this Cross?

It means I am forgiven.

Undeserving…